skimpy skimpies

Watching the livestream (of the warm-ups – whoooo) for this afternoons European Masters champs. There are SO MANY FELLOWS in BRIEFS! What is it with the skimpies? I blame James Guy. But come on lads, where’s the racing suits? “Jammers”, I believe they are – ludicrously – called.

skimpy skimpies

Oh dear oh dear

Still no actual swimming #content from me to share with you! BUT, I have been working on another swimming project (ladies night/chlorine right), writing up the Masters, and of course following the endless tweets from @britishswimming with all the results from Tollcross.

Also, whilst researching my own swimming data visualisation plans, I found this handy map that someone else has made of Them London Pools. I looked at their Crystal Palace post – ok ok it’s from 2011 and Things Were Different – but they refer to the playing of piped music, what the heck? OK, I’ve only been to CryPal ONCE myself and that was in the evening, but that is snooker blimming loopy…

Courtesy of the pretty nice Swimming Round London blog, which I believe a fellow swim-crew member mentioned to me on a trip to Marshall St baths one time.

It is anecdotes like this that will get me the swimming PULITZER!

Oh dear oh dear


Greetings! It has now been two weeks since Swimathon, and of course I haven’t gone for a swim at all since then. A week’s break, followed by Easter = time off! Eggs! However, swimming has in no way been abandoned, as I spent w/e 2-3 April at the British Masters Championships, where Coach Chlorine was competing! (I will blog in greater detail soon).

It was vvv impressive – all sorts of competitors were present and all of them were AMAZING. It really made me think I have a long way to go in terms of stamina/strength/everything.

None of my swimming has been deliberately “fast” so far – I have been aiming for “keep going” rather than speed – so right now, my fastest time is 20 seconds slower than the slowest 79yr old. WHOOOO! MAD RESPECT to the 70+ swimmers, all haring it along! Seriously inspirational stuff.

But really I just came to post links to WEIGHT TRAINING FOR SWIMMING which I might give a go:

Grant Turner’s gym workouts for swimmers

Weight Training for Swimming

Don’t you just love the way that they suggest that pull-ups are something that one should just be able to do? No way. I will need to give these a good peruse, adapt them for my feeble ability (i.e gurly push-ups) and try and build into some sort of routine. I should also try… SIT-UPs?!

I also need to try stretching my arms behind my back. Coach Chlorine can touch her hands together behind her back with arms at full stretch. I…. cannot.


See you next MUSCLE TIME!


my swim kit

I have packed my bag all ready for swimathon. But what is IN my bag? What have I been lugging around since I started this fascinating blog? You have been demanding it*, so here it is!

swim kit

  • Towel: Lifeventure Trek GIANT Microfibre towel. I am such a fan of these – they go into a tiny pack (even when you are terrible at folding, as aptly demonstrated), and they dry ridiculously quickly. Great for any travel, not just swimming. Towel Tech 4TW!
  • Swim cap: TYR swim cap for long hair. (I hope they allow me to wear it – the swimathon caps have been reported as being on the small side, as I witnessed myself on Friday!)
  • Flip-flops: from somewhere. Goodness knows. Flip-flops are so hard to walk in! I must find an alternative. Slippers?
  • Pull buoy I LOVE YOU. Pull buoy isn’t actually coming, but is spiritually part of my team.
  • Leave in conditioner: Boots Sun Swim and Gym. Helps to detangle a little when combing, but doesn’t leave hair feeling particularly conditioned or soft afterwards, but better than nothing.
  • Deodorant: Mitchum fragrance-less. Smelly deodorants in changing rooms = ANTI-SOCIAL.
  • Shower gel: L’Occitante Cherry Blossom – a free sample I was given. CHERRY BLOSSOM!! I am the MATSUOKA Rin! The scent of the cherry blossom is COMPLETELY knocked out by the chlorine though, sorry Rin!
  • Goggles: Speedo Aquapure women’s goggles. These have been the best swimming purchase ever made. Previous goggles had to be on so tight in order not to leak that swimming came with agonising headaches after 20mins. These are a delight ❤
  • Towel turban thing. I am only posting this to SHAME me into getting a new one as this is years old and GROSS. Like this, I guess? I don’t think I have ever even seen them in a shop.
  • Mini hairbrush. It’s a small hairbrush.
  • Just out of sight – 70 hair bobbles. I bought in bulk. The risk of getting to the pool and not having a hair bobble is too much.
  • GOLF BALL! This isn’t coming with me, but like the pull buoy it will be with me in spirit. For rolling under foot. Wish I got one months ago.
  • And finally… the swimming costume aka “the Slaz”. Like this one, I think, but from ebay.

Last but not least: here is the WONDER WIDGET, aka the Speedo Shine. I have to admit this is a somewhat guilty splurge purchase, but what the heck! Treat yo’self.

wonder widget

Annoyingly, whilst the Misfit app is fine for syncing, I gather there is a Speedo app that MAY be good? But it’s iOS only! For fvcks sake!! What apps are iOS only these days. Apps for cockfarmers, that’s what. Yes, you heard me Speedo! Sort it out! And also please never stop making those goggles I linked to above they are the best OK OK pax pax.

*No you haven’t.
my swim kit

bad news for cramping swimmers :(

I asked swimathon for clarification as to whether I could get out of the pool if cramp struck, and the answer is… NO!

Unfortunately, the rules state that individuals are only able to enter and exit the pool once and this applies to the actual swimming pool. However if there is a medical reason on event day, it will be possible for you to exit the pool and then get back in and continue your challenge.”

Even though the cramp has reduced me to tears (notably this happened when I tried to ‘swim it off’ at the Aquatics Centre) I still doubt it counts a a ‘medical reason’.

I shall try to google ways to get rid of cramp whilst staying in the water. Initial results had indicated “there aren’t any”. ARGH! Even when I get leg/foot cramp in the night, I have to get up and stand on it for it to go away. I suspect it will be even worse in the pool. Even if it’s not agonising and I can somehow cling on to a side somewhere, it will likely take a while to recover and I will be in the way…

OH SHI-. I stand a very real chance of failing, don’t I?

On the other hand – my pack of GOLF BALLS arrived yesterday and I gave them a good roll with my feet, so maybe that will help…

bad news for cramping swimmers :(

Free!! in Swimming Accuracy Shocker

I am still working on my post ranking London swimming pools by HAIRDRYER standards, but in the meantime, here is a RARE EXAMPLE of an accurate reflection of what swimming is actually like from Free!!.


Oh god the years I am spending miserably in front of a hairdryer with the drying power of a fvcking TEA-LIGHT (spoiler alert: I am looking at YOU, ULU).

Ahem, I have only just noticed the NUDEY MAN in the background, this is um, not an accurate reflection of MY swimming experience I should hasten to add. Well, apart from the time that dude got out of the pool and his shorts fell down

Free!! in Swimming Accuracy Shocker