To report back on the MERCH
+ covered ears! Hooray. This was unexpectedly the best thing about it.
+ felt nice and secure on my head
+ didn’t pull too much
— didn’t keep hair dry but I doubt ANY swimming cap actually does this
+ strange bubble at back of head where ‘bun’ part is? Wasn’t sure whether that was water or trapped air. Later I realised it was air. I conclude overall this is positive because it was nice to press, but it probably isn’t aerodynamic or whatever. (Well neither is my tubby corse).